Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just high enough for therapy.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
