last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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