My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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