So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
