There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
