Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
