You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
