Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
