so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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