I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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