Got a toothbrush?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
