Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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