GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
