Already got asked if we're dating
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
