i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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