She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
