So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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