You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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