The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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