the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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