Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
