Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
