At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
