the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
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