Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
But I just had this pork pt. It was dick grabbing.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
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