I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
