# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
