i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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