I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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