Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
