You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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