We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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