ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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