on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
