I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
