well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
