it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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