Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
