I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
