OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
