We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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