did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
