Swine flu is the new snow day.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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