Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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