Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
