We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
there's paper in my vomit.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
