Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
