So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
