So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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