you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
