The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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