Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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