Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i will never coherently bang her
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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