Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
