he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have already put on my inside pants.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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