oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
