It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize