Define "chronic" masturbator.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
