Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
