I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I will pee on everything he values.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
