i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
