There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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