No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
