Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
