***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
