I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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