Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
