i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
