i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
