He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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