I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
