girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
