I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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