I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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