is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I think my moral compass just broke
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