he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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