so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
