well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize