she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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