i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
